Why to Avoid this Common Misconception about Intimacy

Avoid This Common Misconception About Intimacy

I've been working with individuals and couples for over a decade and one thing I see happen all too often is the misconception that “intimacy” is dependent on having the other person be or do something other than what they are being or doing.

For example, I often hear some version of “he’s not as open as I am” or “I don’t feel connected to her” or some other theme that involves the other person being the reason one is not feeling an intimate connection.

But this is inaccurate and totally misleading, and it’s the reason why so many people stay stuck and frustrated in relationship.

Intimacy and connection first and foremost begin with the self. When we are disconnected from our body, our deeper feelings and sensations, when we are “numb” to our own internal world, we are unable to deeply feel and “connect” with another.

If we are unable to feel ourselves deeply, and to hold ourselves in our deepest expression, how on earth can we ever expect to feel connected to someone else? Or to be able to receive their deepest expression unconditionally without closing, avoiding or running away?

Intimacy begins with the self first.

This is the fundamental truth of intimacy and why I so often teach my clients that true connection happens when we drop a layer (or ten!) deeper into our inner experience of the moment.

This is where we get out of our heads and into our bodies, where intimacy actually happens.

This is where we notice what’s actually happening in the PRESENT moment—not some distant made-up future, and not some thing that happened in the past. But RIGHT NOW:

• What’s your desire right now?
• What is your body experiencing RIGHT NOW?
• Is there tension? Closure? Numbness? Expansion? Peace? Love? Grief or pain?

This is the first step in creating connection and deep intimacy.

If you try to skip over it, grasping to the “other” as your source of connection, you’ll miss it every time. You’ll continue to be stuck in the past or the future, and completely unable to access the deep connection and intimacy you desire.

Touchpoint 2023

Starting in just a couple of weeks I’m launching a new program designed to help my current and former clients continue on an path towards cultivating this kind of deeper intimacy and connection for the long term, whether you’re in a relationship or single.

TouchPoint 2023 consists of one monthly educational masterclass where I’ll be leading you into some of the necessary and most fundamental wisdom on relationship, intimacy, connection, embodiment, sexuality, sacred relationship, and sacred intimacy.

These monthly masterclasses are coupled with one monthly private 1:1 session with me. Consider this your own private “touchpoint” to help keep you focused and on track and to receive some individualized attention and support.

I’ll be interspersing the monthly journey with weekly inspirational emails and journal prompts to help keep you motivated and focused, or to share simple practices with you so that you can begin to implement the teachings from the Master classes into your own experiential wisdom.

Touchpoint 2023 begins on Tuesday January 24th. Click here to learn more about it, read a lineup of Masterclass topics, and to register.

XO

Susan

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